Sleepless Nights, Bright Beginning's

I try to be in bed by 8:30pm. Even on the weekends.  If you are a new mom, you can totally understand why.  Otherwise,  you may think of me as the most boring person ever.  Sometimes I think about all the things I am missing out on as I slip off my nursing shirt and replace it with a nursing bra (don't forget the nursing  pads!) I think about the times where I would stay up past midnight,  socializing and drinking delicious wine. Or the time we spontaneously went on a trip to Europe (that never actually happened but I could have done it!).
But before I can regret anything about my life, I look at my son and remember that I still get to experience an adventure.  An adventure that is priceless and more meaningful than any historical landmark.  I may be missing  out on sleep and other seemingly important things in life but I get to replace all of those things with one monumental experience that has many little satisfactions wrapped into it.  It is often referred to as motherhood.  It may not always look  exciting and pretty,  but it is a gift that I am learning to love more everyday.  As I peel my eyelids open for the 2544 time in the middle of the night to tend to the little grunts and coos coming from the little ball of cuteness next to me,  I remind myself that this will past and I might just miss it one day.  My baby will grow and won't stop. And the only mistake I can make is taking these moments (even the hard,  "I'm going to cry from exhaustion  and sore nipples" moments) for granted.  I smile at the thought of putting up the Christmas  tree with my son,  picking out Halloween costumes with him, going to the water park and seeing the look on his face when his toes touch the ocean for the first time.  Although I don't think fondly of the times he will be sick,  or the 5 times I will have to clean up puke in a day,  or having to hand down his first punishment,  it is all a part of parenthood and the most exciting adventure of my life.  I would be a fool to regret any of it; even the sleepless nights. 

The Optimistic Control Freak

I am that mom that is riddled with anxiety. Every move I make is stratigically planned out in my head before it happens. When I take a shower, I thimk about what I will do first; towels out then get undressed? Or should I get undressed first and bring the towels with me? I like things to go smoothly and calling me a control freak might be an understatement.
  These character "flaws" have their advantage as well. I am typically well prepared and I hardly ever lose my cool; even when things dont go to plan. I believe I will always be this way and I also believe I will become better at it through out time. However, I vowe to still have spontaneoity in my sons life and fortunately,  his father compliments my planning vigour with his fun loving "spur of the moment" life mantra. I am glad my son will get to experience both sides.
I may seem to spew naivety with my projections for the future, but isn't that what I am supposed to be doing as a new mom? I'm working toward positive thinking and letting my overzealous planning work for me and not against me.
I am aware that my plans will come crashing down on me many many times, but I have my partner, my best friend, my sons father (all wrapped into one) to help me through those times. Thats what family is for right?